Out of sheer randomness, Antu would like to talk about
Nenek (the mother of my mother)
This is my Nenek (grandmother). She is the last of her generation. By ID, she’s 81 this year. But by reality, she’s supposed to be 83.
Why?
When she was born, her dad, my great grandfather, had difficulty going to the town and registering her. Hence, after 2 years, then only he was able to make her birth cert.
I believe that without my nenek, I wouldn’t be who/what I am today. She contributes certain part of my personality. Following her footsteps, I learn patients, endurance, being grounded, following my roots, and many more.
Nenek was born in Malacca; her early childhood years were spend there. Later, the whole family moved to Klang. When she was 16, she was force to marry a Syed from the east. The best part, she was still playing in the dirt and still have a running nose. In other words, she was still a kid.
The Syed had another wife, the first one. When his wife got to know about the marriage, with the thought of ‘how dare you take my husband away’; she came with a parang to my great grandmother’s house; wishing to seek and slay Nenek.
But when she arrived and asked for Nenek, what she saw was just a little kid, playing around with flowers in front of the house.
Nenek told the story where she remembered the 1st wife asking my great grandmother:
“Ini orangnya?” (is this the person?)
My great grandmother nodded
The 1st wife burst into laughter “budak hingusan ini? madu aku?…ahahahah….” (this little kid?...hahaha…)
Nenek just stood there puzzled and didn’t know what was happening. The 1st wife went back, and a week later a divorce letter were sent to the house.
“Dengan ini, saya ceraikan Khadijah…” (with this, I divorce Khadijah) that’s what the letter wrote.
So after that, she stayed with her mom and her sister. She went through a lot of hardship especially during the Japanese occupancy.
She told me the stories of what the Japanese done; how some of the villagers were tortured and how hard to get food, plus many more.
They survive it all, fortunately.
And only at the age of 31, my grandfather came and asked her hand in marriage, and she replied yes. How did they end up in Banting? Well, Tok Babah (my grandfather) got a job offer by the government, to be one of the manager at the tea plantation there.
I wish I’ve known Tok Babah. I didn’t get the chance to meet him. Tok Babah passed away when my mom was only 8 years old. I’m sure he was a great person. And note to all, he’s a Chinese from China, who came to Malaysia with my ancestors to seek wealth here. He got married to a Malay woman and had 8 kids. She passed away, and later on, married my grandmother.
Nenek had many stories in her life. And she would tell the stories to whoever wants to listen to them.
If you asked her about Merdeka, she will tell the story on how she was very grateful of the day Malaysia claim independence. And how she was happy carrying her one-year-old daughter (my mom) around during that day.
“Syukur la jugak bila kita dah merdeka….dulu memang susah, susah sangat…” (Thank God for the day of Independence…it was hard during those days, very hard)
You can see tears in her eyes, and you know how that reflects the destitution during those time.
Nenek is the last person in her generation, and still, going strong. I’m very proud of her.
I love her very much and hope my children will get the chance to meet her, Insyallah. So they can hear the stories and know how great and strong my nenek was, and be proud to know our ancestors and our roots.
Through her stories, Nenek taught me to be grateful with what we have. And with that, I have learned the skills to be grateful very well. Very very well, I must say.
I have learn that by being grateful, I can appreciate what’s in front of me, and try to make better improvement if needed so.
By being grateful, we tend to minimize complains.
By being grateful, we will appreciate more.
And by being grateful, we will automatically try to improve our self for the better future.
But the sad part is that 90% of learning to be grateful is by losing certain things in the 1st place.
“manusia akan menghargai selepas kehilangannya…” (Humans will only be grateful after losing it)-Wise words from Nenek, and this, I must agree.
My wishes on this 31st of August 2010:
1.For those who complains about Merdeka: to stop and think carefully the main reason you are complaining. And before you start presenting your files of complaint, please study thoroughly about Merdeka, the process and the intentions in the 1st place. You’ll understand once you go deeper.
2.For those who complains about Malaysia: Sadly, 80% who complains are somewhere outside the country. They complain about transportation, wi-fi, technologies and even movies etc. Please bear in mind, for a country that is developing, I repeat, developing, we are pretty good on track. You are currently living in a developed country, now, that’s different. It doesn’t take a genius to different shed the word ‘developing’ and ‘developed’. So please, stop complaining about your own birth place. Malaysia is beautiful country, with many potential and opportunities to grow, and only an ungrateful citizen like you doesn’t realize that.
Just be grateful with what we have. And strive to be better in the future.
I hope you learn it NOW, then learning it after you lose it. Be grateful, aight?
Happy Merdeka all!
What do you think? Write your views and comments about the column. I would like to hear your opinions. Anything & everyone is welcome.
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