RANDOM....joker of the year

Now…
Out of sheer randomness, Antu would like to talk about

JOKES & JOKERS

Antu remember the time when she lepak makan with her friends; the three jokers, and our table becomes the most ‘vocal-laugh’ table (period….)
-_-"

“Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went skydiving, she caused an eclipse”

-_-"


So, Antu browse through the internet, and got some pretty funny jokes. Thus, antu would like to share her 'homework', with you guys:

Blonde and Brunette, Falling
A blonde and a brunette both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first?
The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.

Yo' Mama Is So
Yo' Mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.

Yo' Mama Is So
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she put a ruler next to her bed to see how long she sleeps.

Money Vows
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

Spaghetti
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy,
he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

-___-"

A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. -wikipedia on jokes

but after looking at this pictures,
Antu truly thinks this guy's is the king of all jokers


HAHAHAHAHA.......

What do you think? Write your views and comments about the column. I would like to hear your opinions. Anything & everyone is welcome.

RANDOM.....a 'giler-mahal-siot' house

Now…
Out of sheer randomness, Antu would like to talk about

ANTILLA

This is the house of Mr. Mukesh Ambani, india’s richest man, the fifth, in the world.

This is the most expensive house ever built.

This is the biggest house ever built.

To make things short, antu will list down certain features of this ‘house’:

1. The shape is based on Vaastu, an Indian tradition much like Feng Shui that is said to move energy beneficially through the building by strategically placing materials, rooms and objects. (a large energizer bateri lo)

2. no two floors are alike in either plans or materials used (repetition is not welcome)

3. six stories of parking lots. (Muat utk kapal selam sekali)

4. lobby with nine elevators (kalah airport nye lobby)

5. large ballroom with 80% of its ceiling covered in crystal chandeliers (final destination anybody?)

6. There is a "entourage room" for security guards and assistants to relax (keja jadi pak guard pun tak pe)

7. A yoga and dance studio (gojet lambak tu babe)

8. It has an ice room, where residents and guests can escape the Mumbai heat to a small, cooled chamber dusted by man-made snow flurries. (if its in Malaysia, it’s called ‘mines wonderland’)

9. An open-air atrium of gardens, flowers and lawns (jadi tukang kebun pun, ok gak)

10. It has a two-storey health club (kalau tak sihat lagi, aku tak tahu nak habaq ape)

11. A theater that will fit in about 44 people. “The theater is more like those seen in George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch’ -Forbes.com(watdafak….)

12. It has a lap pool.(A pool that you can do laps & laps in -_-")

These are the least features that the Antilla has.
Danggg...



Antilla was named after a mythical island.

Antillia (or Antilia) is a legendary island which was reputed during the age of exploration to lie in the Atlantic Ocean far to the west of Portugal and Spain. – wikipedia.

Now...

Antu’s version of ‘Antilla’ is

any kinda house, full of laughter, a big happy family, together with a house pet
(i would like a platypus for my family's pet)
Family guy anybody?

Home sweet home…

What do you think? Write your views and comments about the column. I would like to hear your opinions. Anything & everyone is welcome.

RANDOM.....for the love of cocoa

Now…
Out of sheer randomness, Antu would like to talk about

Fair-trade CHO-KO-LAT (chocolate, to be exact)

We should thank the Mesoamericans for creating such drink from the seed of Theobroma cacao trees; later the findings by a Spanish conquest. And then, in 1847 to Joseph Fry & Son, in discovery of a mixture which resulted to the first modern chocolate bar.


We, Malaysian, have yet to learn (even to know) about fair-trade.

Fairtrade is about better prices, decent working conditions, local sustainability, and fair terms of trade for farmers and workers in the developing world. By requiring companies to pay sustainable prices, Fairtrade addresses the injustices of conventional trade, which traditionally discriminates against the poorest, weakest producers. It enables them to improve their position and have more control over their lives. – fairtrade.com

Cocoa farmers

Cocoa farmers are some of the poorest people in the world and many of them earn on average about £50(RM350) a year.


They depend on selling their beans to pay for the essential things in life including wellington boots to protect their feet from the scorpions that live among the cocoa trees.


However many farmers don't make enough money from selling their beans and can't afford food, medicine, clean water or school for their children.



Hmmm….sad isn’t it?


Even in the 16th century, Spanish armies began enslaving Mesoamericans to produce cacao.

I, myself, have been trying to be considerate enough to think about what is my responsibility as a consumer. I admit, it’s only for certain moments only, but having a little thought, is better than having none.

My opinion – me, as a consumer, having the dilemma of buying fair-trade things is not danggg cheap, consider the fact that it can be found in cold storage, starbucks, mark & spencer etc. (not a place where you consider cheap for a middle-wage person like me)

But, certain occasions, I’ll buy it as I will have the thought that at least ‘I contributed’, and not ‘tahu, tapi buat bodoh’.
And you, yes you, jgn makan je cho-ko-lat tu, having thoughts can automatic make you consider it. Thats good enough for a start.


And for the love of cho-ko-lat, we must build a happier world, aight?

If its not you, who else?

What do you think? Write your views and comments about the column. I would like to hear your opinions. Anything & everyone is welcome.