ANTUbeing R.A.N.D.O.M: RANDOM.....one lucky skinny bi*tch

Now…
Out of sheer randomness, Antu would like to talk about

SKINNES

Antu is having an eating disorder

Shock?
Well, to those who are close to me, they’d know
To those who don’t, now you know

(back to my story)

As I make visits or bump into friends, they would say these sorts of things
(Those who like me being 55-60kg)
‘omg, u lost weight, why?’
‘dear, what happen? U looked so thin’
(Those who like people losing weight)
‘I wish I can be like you’
‘tell me, whats your secret’
(And my mom)
‘you’re back to being a skinny, means, you are now single’
-_-“

Okie, now…..

I am happy, in a way, and I’m not happy, in a way, about my weight. I love eating, however, my portion of eating’s are now limited and if I were to eat a lot, I tend to vomit it out. Sick, eh? (I know). My views of beautiful women have also changed. Last time, if I see a skinny girl I would wanna go up to her and recommend a good eating place (so she can eat her heart out). But now, I view them as beautiful and watched them walked by (sounds like an ‘L word’, but I’m not) and also looked at what their wearing, cloths and fashion.

“An eating disorder is characterized by abnormal eating habits that may involve either insufficient or excessive food intake to the detriment of an individual's physical and emotional health. The causes of eating disorders are complex and not yet fully understood. Eating disorders are estimated to affect 5-10 million females and 1 million males in the United States”
An intake of the word ‘eating disorder'

I narrow it down to these factors why am I losing my weight:

1. Eating alone -I DO NOT like to eat alone, thus, only when I have an eating companion at any time to eat, I would eat. BUT, most of the time I’m a lone,lonely ranger (single but not available, wink-wink)

2. My mind on ‘eating healthy’ - When I go to supermarkets, shops, or eating place, I notice I tend to looked for a healthier choice. “low fat, multigrain, lots of veggie, less karbo…” and other lots. I remember I wanted to buy something to eat, I end up spending an hour looking around, and when I got to the cashier, it was just low fat milk with multi-grains cereal. There was also a time when I went to Chilli’s, ordered a burger, but end up eating my fren’s veggie side dish and ‘take away’ the burger home (only to be end up in the garbage bin the next day)

3. Fashion – now, I’m into skinny jeans and leggings. I was working on a project to sell cloth and apparels and (I think) with me viewing the models wearing it, looking damn nice, automatically send signals to my zombie brain, saying ‘skinny is beautiful’.

4. People say – It may sound stupid, but now whatever people say have a small percentage effect to my brain. I have big size legs (my body is the ‘papaya’ type) so when my friends stated or pointed out that I have ‘bunting keladi’ thigh, I feel like straggling them.

5. And eating experience + motion sickness – I went to a foreign country, I didn’t like the food (so sorry) and it combined with my motion sickness going back with the plane. Thus, a natural disaster happened. Ever since, I notice I’m very picky and particular on my food intake (so that I pass the ticket of ‘my whole esophagus is coming out’ experience)

6. My mom and my granma – they like ‘kurus, just nice size’ girls. Lets just say if I reached 55kg, if possible, I’m the one they slay and cooked for dinner.

7. Guys surrounding – 90% of guys I know (even my bros) like 45-50 kg girls. (Don’t lie babe, I know you also)

For now, I think above is the IT factor of me being skinny

But now, I would like to add the 8th family member factor:

After browsing through the net, and of course, visiting KOL site, I officially would like to say,
I WANNA BE SKINNY…sob, sob,sob (huhuhu…just kidding)

But this is why